Oakland University's independent student newspaper.

The Oakland Post

Cry me a body of water

Cry me a body of water

February 17, 2015

No virtues in Valentine’s Day

Josh Soltman

February 10, 2015

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Love doesn’t exist. OK, that’s not fair. It does exist, but it’s stupid and dumb and I hate it. This reason alone is why having a “holiday” based solely off of this faux idea of love is incredibly ridiculous.  Of ...

Snow emergency, snow money

By Kaylee Kean

February 3, 2015

Filed under Satire

Students spend hundreds, wait hours to avoid moving cars for snow emergency policyIt started with a Yik Yak.“Screw this stupid snow emergency policy. I don’t want to go out into the snow. Someone should start a valet service....

Great balls of fire

Josh Soltman

January 27, 2015

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

If you happened to look up into the sky at any time on Monday, you probably didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Since it’s 2015 and the only people who own binoculars are perverts and bird watchers, you probably didn...

New year, same everybody

New year, same everybody

January 6, 2015

Procrastination hurts us all

By Kaylee Kean

December 2, 2014

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Call me a nerd, but one of the things I’ll miss most about Oakland is the Kresge Library. It’s one of my happy places here in the Rochester area.When I’m stressed and have a lot of homework, that’s where I like to go. It’s ...

Dressing well is in the jeans

Sean Gardner

November 18, 2014

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I meet some interesting characters working at a grocery store. Whether you are a psychopath or part of the ideal American family, there's a pretty good chance you need to eat, and grocery stores are a common place to harvest yo...

My Jekyll always Hydes

By Josh Soltman

November 4, 2014

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I am an asshole. I’m not questioning it, I am not making excuses; it is simply a fact. I am an asshole. Most of my compatriots think that it is a black and white issue, that I am just a jerk for the sake of being a jerk. I am h...

Pining for sliming

Josh Soltman

October 28, 2014

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

    Sometimes, when I’m lying alone in my bed, sulking about my pitiful existence, crippling debt and bevy of incomplete homework assignments, I decided to flip on the good ol’ boob tube. As I scrolled through the onslaught of bla...

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