The Oakland Post

Satire: Oakland’s Valentine’s Day Hotspots

Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

February 13, 2019

Looking for love? Well you came to the right place. The Oakland Post is exactly where all the love tips are these days, congrats on being part of the 1 percent. People always ask me why I have such a successful relationship,...

SATIRE: Oakland student went to school on Monday

Patrick Sullivan, Web Editor

January 31, 2019

Monday was a good bit of time off for students at Oakland due to the bad weather, except for one student who didn’t know school had been cancelled. Bill Townshend, a second year mechanical engineering major here at OU, came...

Satire: Christmas songs that grind my gears

Trevor Tyle, Life Editor

December 5, 2018

Ah, the holidays — that time of year where your wallet shrinks, your waistline expands and your incessant contempt for all of humanity is forcibly hidden behind an unconvincing facade of Christmas cheer. Nothing defines the h...

Satire: Three unknown facts about Ora Hirsch Pescovitz

Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

November 28, 2018

Listen, we all know who runs the show here at Oakland. It’s that curly-haired woman we all know and love, Ora Hirsch Pescovitz. Ora is perhaps one of the best people to ever walk the campus of Oakland, and every day we a...

SATIRE: Biggest shopping day of the year comes to Oakland

Patrick Sullivan, Web Editor

November 28, 2018

Getting a new TV or Xbox has been a staple of Black Friday for years, but apparently Oakland has been offering deals on something out of the norm: tuition. Oakland University offered discounts on tuition this Black Friday, and no one ...

Show Thanksgiving some respect you hooligans

Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

November 14, 2018

I’m disgusted. I cannot believe the blatant disrespect that is being shown to the best holiday around. Have you no manners? Who raised you? Christmas is awesome, I know. There is no debating that the holly jolly gift-giving...

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