The Oakland Post

An easy solution to your February depression

Ben Hume, Web Editor

February 5, 2020

The air is frigid. My lungs are cold. The sun is gone. I got depression.  Michigan winters hit hard, and there’s no worse time than the beginning of February to remind you that your vitamin D stores dried up weeks ago a...

I can’t get JB’s yummy yum out of my mind

Lauren Karmo, Campus Editor

January 29, 2020

Our man Justin Bieber has done some wack shit, but now I really don’t know what this dude is on. When he released “Yummy” on Jan. 3, my guy really thought he was dropping a banger. He was wrong. Where do I even begin...

Mike Pompeo defends sexist attack by urinating out window

Ben Hume, Web Editor

January 29, 2020

Mike Pompeo was called out early last weekend for verbally assaulting veteran reporter and resident badass Marie Louise Kelly. Kelly was reporting for NPR on Iran and Ukraine and did a nine-minute interview with the Secretary of...

Introducing Moodle+

Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

January 29, 2020

Administration announced last Thursday, Jan. 30 that Moodle would be receiving an upgrade starting in September 2020. Moodle will be offering a paid subscription service for all students at $5.99 per month, called “Moodle+.” Moodle+...

Party ogres that live in the apartment above you prove that vigilante justice is sometimes OK

Ben Hume, Web Editor

January 19, 2020

The apartment above Oakland University student Biff Miller, 21, was the site of the largest rager the university had ever recorded. Registering as a 2.4 on the Richter scale, the party continued for a marathon length of 14 hou...

President’s security advisers forget which Middle Eastern country to bomb

Ben Hume, Web Editor

January 15, 2020

Intelligence reports released last week from the Pentagon revealed internal discussions on pressing security threats to the United States. All of the threats came from countries in the Middle East, and each of the pages of the se...

Women’s Rights? Kitchen, here I come

Lauren Karmo, Campus Editor

January 8, 2020

So I have finally decided to quit my education, settle down and find a man with a house and a kitchen for me to make sandwiches in. I know, you all have been begging me to shut up since I’ve joined The Post, and you’re finally ...

How to get therapy during your Graham wait

Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

December 4, 2019

Ah, therapy. We all need it, don't act like you don't. As the resident back page boi of this newspaper, it is my duty to provide quality advice to my loyal readers. There are three good ways to feel better in a time of crisis:...

Christmas songs that grind my gears, part 2

Trevor Tyle, Editor-in-Chief

December 4, 2019

Welp, it’s that time of year again — between the hustle and bustle of bloodthirsty Black Friday shoppers, the ear-piercing wails of Christmas carolers and the broken limb-inducing sheets of ice covering the sidewalks, the...

Hallmark movies make me wanna abandon my life and find a husband

Lauren Karmo, Campus Editor

December 4, 2019

It’s the time of year where the carols are crooning, the gingerbread is baking and, of course, the Hallmark Channel is playing. The newest movie “Loving Christmas,” starring that one short blonde girl and that tall hunky...

There are plenty of ways to survive the insanity that is Black Friday.

Surviving Black Friday

November 20, 2019

There is truly nothing better than salt on the ground during winter.

I love salt

November 20, 2019

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