The Oakland Post

Stay home or you’re stupid

Katie LaDuke, Managing Editor

March 27, 2020

It’s been one week and two days since Gov. Whitmer told us to stay home and stay safe with her executive order to close everything except essential businesses. But, for some reason, people don’t understand what “STAY HOME...

Oakland University to bring in O.J. Simpson to speak

Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

March 11, 2020

“What’s up, Twitter world, yours truly here.” Never have truer words been spoken. NFL legend Orenthal James (O.J.) Simpson will be visiting Oakland University to give a speech on his legendary career in the NFL and acting,...

The All-American coronavirus task force

Sergio Montanez, Photographer

March 11, 2020

In late January, President Donald Trump formed a task force to handle the deadly coronavirus. By the end of February, Trump named Vice President Mike Pence the head of that task force. Last week, in a press conference where Pence...

Proof Bernie sold his soul to the devil

Lauren Karmo, Campus Editor

March 4, 2020

As the primaries get closer and closer, talk about the presidential candidates has dominated the news cycle for months on end. Who’s going to come out on top? No one can truly know ... or can we? Bernard “Bernie” Sanders...

The end of the Rat King’s reign

Ben Hume, Web Editor

March 3, 2020

It is the end of an era, though many might not be aware. After months of rule and a final mad dash for the throne, Pete "the Rat King" Buttigeig has dropped out of the presidential race. His candidacy was built on foundations famil...

Working college students as spring breakers 2020

Lauren Karmo, Campus Editor

February 19, 2020

We have almost made it, ladies and gents, we are almost there. Spring break — or more like winter break because it is FEBRUARY. The timing is beside the point. The real point is that we get over a whole week, a glorious nine...

If you give a college student homework…

Katelyn Hill, Staff Reporter

February 19, 2020

Do y’all remember that book “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” from your younger years? Or that stupid pencil one where if you don’t have a pencil you’ll end up homeless? Well, if you give a college student homework, esp...

Best ways to enjoy this Valentine’s Day

Lauren Karmo, Campus Editor

February 12, 2020

Everyone has such strong opinions about Valentine's Day, but I'm here to tell you it's really no big deal. There's so much pressure to be in a relationship and do something special or to not be in a relationship and hate everything...

When the rats rule Iowa, democracy collapses

Ben Hume, Web Editor

February 12, 2020

Allow yourself to imagine, for a moment, the greatest disaster to occur during the era of humankind. Something of a magnitude rivaling two Titanics sinking side-by-side into an endangered wildlife reserve and then blowing up an ...

The dirty truth behind the open concept Bear Cave

Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

February 12, 2020

Anyone who has walked through the Oakland Center has inevitably been assaulted with loud screams, yells and curse words coming from the Bear Cave. The Bear Cave is Oakland University's premiere gaming center, where students...

I have the coronavirus and I don’t like it.

Lauren Karmo, Campus Editor

February 5, 2020

My loyal readers, even the deathless death couldn't stop me from feeding you another delicious satire this week. I know you read the headline, so I'll save you the time — yes it is true. I have it. I am sitting in my bed, writing...

An easy solution to your February depression

Ben Hume, Web Editor

February 5, 2020

The air is frigid. My lungs are cold. The sun is gone. I got depression.  Michigan winters hit hard, and there’s no worse time than the beginning of February to remind you that your vitamin D stores dried up weeks ago a...

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