Ben Hume, Web Editor
September 23, 2020
Lindsey Graham (R-SC), Chairman of the Senate Committee on the Judiciary, mourned the passing of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (RBG) by taking her final wishes and pissing all over them. Ginsburg’s final wish, spoken...
Emily Morris, Managing Editor
September 16, 2020
Crumbling Varner Hall has at last been replaced by a facility that keeps up with the times and has high-class instruments for music, theater and dance students. After tirelessly requesting, students in the arts can climb out o...
Lauren Karmo, Campus Editor
September 9, 2020
In a heated battle between incumbent (and king) Sen. Ed Markey and fresh-faced beanie baby Rep. Joe Kennedy III, the Green New Deal champ came out on top for another progressive win for the radical left. As some of you may have h...
August 31, 2020
Michael Pearce, Editor-in-Chief
August 24, 2020
Oakland University housing is on the cutting edge of university policies, as they unveil their newest ground-breaking innovation in on-campus safety: the honor system.
Instead of properly compensating night watch employees to enforc...
Emily Morris, Managing Editor
August 24, 2020
In a world where Oakland University lies almost empty for an entire summer, the seagulls saw a chance, and they took it. Reread in Don LaFontaine’s voice if you didn’t already — the voice actor not the Subaru dealership...
Lauren Karmo, Campus Editor
August 4, 2020
Ladies and gentlemen, girls and gays, welcome back to the Oakland Post’s satire section after a long hiatus. In March, we needed to take a pause to focus on some slightly more important issues — we’re in a global pandemi...
Lauren Karmo, Campus Editor
April 1, 2020
My brother and I are best friends, don’t get me wrong, but being stuck in the same house together day-in and day-out is gonna lead to some head butting. Now that we’re older, we don’t fight as much as we did when we were...
Michael Pearce, Sports Editor
April 1, 2020
When you think of an American hero, what goes through your head?
Some might think of soldiers, lifelong politicians, firefighters and doctors. But there is only one man I’d ever give the title of “hero” to.
His name...
Katie LaDuke, Managing Editor
April 1, 2020
I LOVE dogs. I wish I could pet every dog I pass, but the days are just too short for that. If I’ve learned anything over my 21 years of living, it’s that every dog has its very own personality, just like us college students....
Sergio Montanez, Photographer
April 1, 2020
Aries: March 21-April 19
After decades of soul-searching, you finally realize that you have no soul.
Taurus: April 20-May 20
A reoccurring dream will predict a sudden thrill to make workout videos like those couples on Inst...
Sergio Montanez, Photographer
April 1, 2020
You’ve already watched “The Office” in its entirety twice, but since you’ve got nothing else to do, now you’ve decided to watch reruns of it on Comedy Central. Soon enough, you’re going to rewatch the final season of ...
