The Oakland Post

Satire: Christmas songs that grind my gears

Trevor Tyle, Life Editor

December 5, 2018

Filed under Satire

Ah, the holidays — that time of year where your wallet shrinks, your waistline expands and your incessant contempt for all of humanity is forcibly hidden behind an unconvincing facade of Christmas cheer. Nothing defines the h...

Satire: Three unknown facts about Ora Hirsch Pescovitz

Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

November 28, 2018

Filed under Satire

Listen, we all know who runs the show here at Oakland. It’s that curly-haired woman we all know and love, Ora Hirsch Pescovitz. Ora is perhaps one of the best people to ever walk the campus of Oakland, and every day we a...

SATIRE: Biggest shopping day of the year comes to Oakland

Patrick Sullivan, Web Editor

November 28, 2018

Filed under Satire

Getting a new TV or Xbox has been a staple of Black Friday for years, but apparently Oakland has been offering deals on something out of the norm: tuition. Oakland University offered discounts on tuition this Black Friday, and no one ...

Show Thanksgiving some respect you hooligans

Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

November 14, 2018

Filed under Satire

I’m disgusted. I cannot believe the blatant disrespect that is being shown to the best holiday around. Have you no manners? Who raised you? Christmas is awesome, I know. There is no debating that the holly jolly gift-giving...

Richard: Unsung hero of Oak View Hall

Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

September 25, 2018

Filed under Satire

While Dennis in Vandenberg gets all the hype for being a sweet, kind and talented man, there is another man who makes life better at Oakland day-by-day as well. Dennis deserves his hype for sure, but it is time we as Oakland Un...

SATIRE: A new species has emerged on campus

Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

September 5, 2018

Filed under Satire

Neil deGrasse Tyson. Bill Nye the Science Guy. Albert Einstein. Mrs. Frizzle. Some of the greatest scientific minds that the world has ever seen are all working on the mysterious case of Youngis Freshmanicus, the new invasive ...

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