The Oakland Post

SATIRE: Birds are not real

Katie LaDuke, Managing Editor

September 11, 2019

The birds work for the bourgeoisie.  There. I said it. If there are any fellow TikTokers out there, you know what I’m talking about. This isn’t a game though. Birds are not real. Maybe Reagan did kill them off in 1986...

Local prophet visits OU

Local prophet visits OU

September 11, 2019

The Jonas Brothers are burnin’ up…AGAIN!

Ashley Averill, Copy Editor

September 11, 2019

The other night, I was going through my CDs … Yes, I still have those thin, circular, holographic things that no longer go in cars or anywhere, frankly, unless you have a Walkman — if one of you asks me what a Walkman is, ...

Satire: The roadblocks to my problems

Katie LaDuke, Managing Editor

August 27, 2019

Ah, Michigan. The state with two seasons: winter and construction. I know it’s been said time and time again, but it seems every construction season gets even messier and more chaotic than the year before. While I love the...

Satire: What you’ll do after drinking a “Four Loko Seltzer”

Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

August 22, 2019

White Claw is dead. The king is here. Four Loko has ruined White Claw’s existence and will reportedly be ushering in a new Four Loko Seltzer with 14% alcohol by volume. There ain’t no laws when you’re drinking FOUR LOKO BABYYY...

Satire: Living with a shopping addiction

Katie LaDuke, Managing Editor

August 6, 2019

People will always try to say you have a “problem” or you “don’t need it.” To that I say, "add to cart."  I never used to like shopping. There was once a time, long ago, when I actually despised going to stores. T...

Satire: What it do, baby

Michael Pearce, Sports Editor

August 6, 2019

Oh my word, it has been a while since I got to pour out my feelings into the satire section of this here fine publication. I just wanted to start off this therapeutic session by saying something unpopular: summer vacation is kinda...

Fishfly season is upon us

Katie LaDuke, Managing Editor

June 26, 2019

Greetings from Michigan’s favorite boat town, St. Clair Shores. I’m here to report that the worst time of the year has officially begun — fishfly season. If you’ve ever encountered one of these nightmares with wings...

Satire: Millennials are outdating doorbell technology through texting

Rachel Basela, Staff Intern

June 26, 2019

Ding-dong ditch Millennials are outdating yet another commonplace device: the modern doorbell. With the new normality of the “I’m here” text, many young people are choosing to disregard walking up to the porch and ringing. ...

How to torture your keto friends

Katie LaDuke, Managing Editor

June 5, 2019

If you don’t live under a rock, I’m sure you’re familiar with the keto craze that has been sweeping people everywhere off their feet. If you do live under a rock, let me explain just what this diet is. The ketogenic diet ...

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