The Oakland Post

SATIRE: The importance of being obnoxious abroad: The Fourth of July

Stephen Armica, Satirist

July 28, 2017

When God created this great, green earth, he had two things on his mind: Don’t f*** with the second amendment. Also celebrate the Fourth of July. Since I’m a member of this beautiful country we call the United States of America,...

The term ‘millennial’ is an insult

Nick Kim

September 8, 2015

With today’s technology and social media, the fact is clear: you cannot be unaware anymore. This includes, but is not limited to, pop culture, memes, global events, rising social conflicts, the weather, cat videos and so on ...

Growing up is hard to do

Josh Soltman

April 14, 2015

It’s a weird feeling, knowing that something is coming to an end. In this case, the thing that is ending is my life.It’s not ending in the traditional sense — it’s not like I’m dying or getting married or something ...

Movies killed the movie star

Josh Soltman

March 17, 2015

If you’re a “Star Wars” fan like me, you should be severely titillated at the thought of a reboot in the series. At first, I was so excited I couldn’t keep food down. I’d been waiting ever since I was a kid for more. ...

Senioritis: The deadliest disease

Josh Soltman

March 10, 2015

I am a self-centered buffoon (that one’s for you Kaylee). This is not a new concept for me but as I near the climax of my college career — graduation — I’m finding that my attention is getting more and more focused on my...

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Cry me a body of water

February 17, 2015

No virtues in Valentine’s Day

Josh Soltman

February 10, 2015

Love doesn’t exist. OK, that’s not fair. It does exist, but it’s stupid and dumb and I hate it. This reason alone is why having a “holiday” based solely off of this faux idea of love is incredibly ridiculous.  Of ...

Great balls of fire

Josh Soltman

January 27, 2015

If you happened to look up into the sky at any time on Monday, you probably didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Since it’s 2015 and the only people who own binoculars are perverts and bird watchers, you probably didn...

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Satire / Mouthing Off