The Oakland Post

SATIRE: The importance of being obnoxious abroad: The Fourth of July

Stephen Armica, Satirist July 28, 2017

When God created this great, green earth, he had two things on his mind: Don’t f*** with the second amendment. Also celebrate the Fourth of July. Since I’m a member of this beautiful country we call...

The term ‘millennial’ is an insult

Nick Kim September 8, 2015

With today’s technology and social media, the fact is clear: you cannot be unaware anymore. This includes, but is not limited to, pop culture, memes, global events, rising social conflicts, the weather,...

Growing up is hard to do

Josh Soltman April 14, 2015

It’s a weird feeling, knowing that something is coming to an end. In this case, the thing that is ending is my life.It’s not ending in the traditional sense — it’s not like I’m dying or getting...

Nintendo logo

Nintendo plays the game best

Josh Soltman March 24, 2015

Nintendo is king. Always has been, always will. All the other video game systems that have been plunked down onto the public just pale in comparison. I recently got thinking about my childhood and all...

Movies killed the movie star

Josh Soltman March 17, 2015

If you’re a “Star Wars” fan like me, you should be severely titillated at the thought of a reboot in the series. At first, I was so excited I couldn’t keep food down. I’d been waiting ever since...

Senioritis: The deadliest disease

Josh Soltman March 10, 2015

I am a self-centered buffoon (that one’s for you Kaylee). This is not a new concept for me but as I near the climax of my college career — graduation — I’m finding that my attention is getting...

College students may be poor, but they will work for experience.

I walk the (unemployment) line

Sean Gardner March 3, 2015

Hello and welcome to the end of your undergraduate college years, I hope you had fun.If you did it right – you have a coffee addiction, function on 4 hours of sleep, binge watched everything on Netflix...

We need a break from spring break

We need a break from spring break

Josh Soltman February 24, 2015

Ahh, spring break (or "mid-winter break" or whatever it's called now, same difference). Every college student’s favorite week. We get a nice break from the monotonous craziness that is school. A chance...

Cry me a body of water

Cry me a body of water

Josh Soltman February 17, 2015

Political correctness: It’s a phrase we hear all the time. It’s becoming more and more of a suffocating problem as people’s butt cheeks continue to clench tighter and tighter on a daily basis when...

No virtues in Valentine’s Day

Josh Soltman February 10, 2015

Love doesn’t exist. OK, that’s not fair. It does exist, but it’s stupid and dumb and I hate it. This reason alone is why having a “holiday” based solely off of this faux idea of love is incredibly...

Great balls of fire

Josh Soltman January 27, 2015

If you happened to look up into the sky at any time on Monday, you probably didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Since it’s 2015 and the only people who own binoculars are perverts and bird...


Hairway to heaven: Part deux

By Josh Soltman January 20, 2015

If any of you have had the displeasure of reading some of my stuff over the past year, you might remember a harrowing tale I penned about chopping off all of my hair for the first time in over a decade....

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Satire / Mouthing Off