Photo courtesy of Bitmoji
We’re all chasing one feeling — that cosmic feeling you get when levitating down the movie theater ramp after 2 hours and 12 minutes of pretending you’re the protagonist, popcorn kernels in one hand and your future in the other. Here’s how you can clutch onto that energy and never let go.
Step 1: Drive with every window down, always.
The world is your oyster, on-call with limitless opportunities, lessons and experiences. What better way to open yourself up to its beauty than a sunset drive — the clouds passing gently above your open sunroof, wind kissing your cheeks and indie film montage-esque music to round out the endless landscapes.
Then, reality sets in, and you hit a red light. On your left — a McDonald’s, the smells of grease soaring through the, not Malibu coast like you imagined in your driveway 20 minutes ago, suburban air — and on your right, a Speedway. You frantically unplug the aux in a moment of panic, consequently silencing Phoebe Bridgers, as a group of teens straight from their driving test intimidate you to your core. Your phone lights up with a notification from your crush who is actively pursuing you — oops, nope. You were daydreaming. It’s Moodle.
Step 2: Visit an art museum alone.
Toss your planner and set off for an inspiring, soul-searching day at the museum. Going alone is the best way to eliminate any and all reservations, being one with the art that surrounds you.
Then, you accidentally stand too close to a Picasso. Museum security saunters up, firmly asking you to step back immediately. The Pinterest couple behind you glances over disapprovingly, and in the midst of your embarrassment, your tote bag falls off your arm. The sound of it obliterating the hardwood echoes through the exhibit.
Step 3: Take a day trip to the beach.
Grab your charcuterie board and strap in for a day of perspective and pristine waters. It’s all you’ll need to re-focus and wholeheartedly find yourself.
Then, you remember sand exists. You run into the water to wash it off, but it sticks violently and infuriatingly to your ankles the second your feet hit dry land. Unpacking your picnic, there’s a jolting crunch of sand that spooks you all over again with every bite. Children with goggles screech on a towel parallel to yours, and it hits you right in the spine. If you gained any perspective — it’s that you’re content being the fun aunt.
Step 4: Work on your stylistic rebrand.
Forego your dull go-to clothing items and drive yourself up to the mall for a vibey day of shopping.
Then, you remember shopping is an absolute pain. Strike one is the price of these garments. In your head on the drive over you incorrectly think quality $40 jeans are a common and easy find — not so much. Strike two is the dressing rooms. You think to yourself ‘why can’t these dressing room doors just be unlocked?’ as you panic-walk around the store practicing your cool, collected “hi, can I get a fitting room?” voice when you realize the store employees effortlessly look like your Instagram explore page. Strike three? When your calves start to burn — serving as a hurtful reminder that you haven’t exercised in months.
Moral of the story is — not everyone can be that main character. I like to look at myself as the more chaotic, literally nothing-goes-right, everything backfires, continuously apprehensive and paranoid, compared to Rowley Jefferson by her friends, character. It’s cool.