Graphic by Ashley Averill
Imagine — you’re sitting in your mommy’s mini van, expecting the usual schedule of WalMart tantrums and soccer practice when it happens. The bad finger is out and so is the road rage. She tells you to shut up and listen to Kidz Bop while she cusses out some lousy driver.
We’ve all known and loved Karen to be the manager requesting, PTA leading soccer mom but her next evolution is getting a lot of heat on Twitter and TikTok. You know what though, she doesn’t deserve it.
Let’s put Kidz Bop Karen on trial, and I’ll prove to you that she and all the other boomers in the world get too much hate from the youths.
My girl was just doing her duty, and y’all can’t handle it. She’s a busy, stay at home MOTHER, and all you lazy millennials just don’t understand what that’s like. You’re riding to work in an Uber, you can’t even bother yourself to drive like an adult. She’s driving her kids to church camp in a 2020 Honda Odyssey mama, so you better watch your back and get your priorities straight.
I’m not saying the driver deserved to get yelled at, but he did curve my girl hard like that. What else was she supposed to do, just drive away like a normal person? Of course not, she’s a Karen for god’s sake, not a Lindsey or a Jessica.
Karen is a good mom, and no one wants to admit it. She knew she was about to throw down, so she absolutely had on “Truth Hurts” from Kidz Bop 40 for her impressionable kids to listen to. She can’t have her kids hearing her calling you a bitch! Maybe in her rage she forgot to reel up her windows before she went off, but I’m not saying she doesn’t have faults.
Everyone needs to calm down. Take it from Karen, just calm down. There’s no need to be a bitch ass hoe, Karen was just doing what needed to be done. Put yourself in her shoes, have a little empathy.
Even if her kids heard her through the sweet tunes of a 12 year old rapping “Lucid Dreams,” it’s better they heard it from her and not some freaky stranger on the streets, right? Those kids are gonna grow up and hear swears all the time, so it’s better they come equipped with the right vocabulary to tell off their fourth grade teacher when she gives them an extra sheet of math homework.
To close, I leave you all with this — Kidz Bop Karen is just another misunderstood, unfortunate victim of the kids today. Back in her day, she didn’t have to worry about getting recorded and exposed on the internet for her crackheaded, asshole ways, she could just go about her business in peace. But instead, she’s been singled out and targeted for no reason by entitled millennials that just don’t get how hard it is to be a stay at home mom on the nice side of town.
What would you have done?