Avengers: Infinity War blew my mind when I saw it, and now I can’t think of anything else but the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). As I was watching this year’s men’s basketball team, I was reminded of some of the superheroes we know and love. In the spirit of Thanos, here are your men’s basketball Avengers.
Greg Kampe – Nick Fury
Coach Kampe reminds me of Samuel L. Jackson for one reason and one reason only, profanity. He can’t help it, basketball is stressful. Jackson loves the “mother____” swear word, and leads the Avengers as Nick Fury. As the leader of the Golden Grizzlies, Kampe fits the bill of Nick Fury.
Xavier Hill-Mais – Thor
This one was easy. Thor is by far the most overpowered, unstoppable and juiced-up superhero in the MCU. Hill-Mais is that for this basketball team. He is the team leader in points and rebounds per game, and he is at times unstoppable. The scene in Thor: Ragnarok where Thor swoops down on the bridge and just electrocutes everyone as lightning spews from his body is Hill-Mais on the court against an inferior opponent.
Also, they both have some solid hair game.
Braden Norris – Captain America
The all-American boy, sweetheart who can do no wrong, that’s my boy Braden. It is impossible to hate Captain America, and it is impossible to hate Braden Norris. The unselfish play and team-first mentality is amazing, and his low turnover rate is what I imagine Steve Rogers prides himself on when him and the other Avengers are playing a pickup game.
Captain America is 100 years old, and sometimes Braden plays so smart I think he also got frozen in an iceberg for 60 years and woke up in 2018 with some infinite basketball wisdom.
Jaevin Cumberland – Dr. Strange
Dr. Strange is underrated and has some insane magical powers. Sometimes when Cumberland is on fire, I swear this dude has possession of the time stone and is making these shots drop by his sheer magical powers. When he’s hitting shots, there’s no one better from behind the arc, and those threes might as well be teleporting into that basket.
Karmari Newman – Hawkeye
Hawkeye is made fun of a lot, but I have no clue why. Hawkeye is a super-human who is great with the bow and arrow. He’s an absolute cold-blooded sniper. With Karmari Newman making so many big shots for Oakland so far, he’s a sniper on the court. His game winner vs. Youngstown State showed me he has ice in his veins, and just like Hawkeye he’s got that pinpoint accuracy.
Brad Brechting – Hulk
Brad Brechting is the tallest player on the team, so it’s fitting he’s the biggest Avenger. I saw Brechting angry in the Wright State game, and he immediately made a huge block and hustled to grab a tough rebound. He activated his Hulk mode. When he’s playing angry he makes some good plays. Unlike the real Hulk, there’s no wimpy version of Brechting like Bruce Banner, he’s all beast all the time. He quietly has been one of the best players for the team this season. You won’t like him when he’s mad.