By TODD M. BUTKOVICHGuest Columnist Last week, the world of American politics was shocked by the latest tragedy to befall a presidential candidate when we found out, to our horror, that Barack Obama really, really sucks at bowling. At a campaign rally held at a Pennsylvania bowling alley, Senator Obama finished with a score of [...]
By TIM RATHGuest Columnist It’s time for me to throw another bracket into the fire. Collegehumor.com is adding new meaning to the term “March Madness,” with their latest addition to the internet intelligentsia, “America’s Hottest College Girl ‘08.” Those familiar with NCAA basketball’s season-ending frenzy will appreciate the creativity involved in the idea: sixty-four co-eds [...]
It’s time for me to throw another bracket into the fire. Collegehumor.com is adding new meaning to the term “March Madness,” with their latest addition to the internet intelligentsia, “America’s Hottest College Girl ‘08.” Those familiar with NCAA basketball’s season-ending frenzy will appreciate the creativity involved in the idea: sixty-four co-eds armed with a few [...]
By TODD M. BUTKOVICH Guest Columnist We've all walked the halls of the Oakland Center oridled in the front lounge of South Foundation Hall and stopped to gaze at thelatest wall postings advertising free, food-included meetings and local jobpostings. Most students check these fliers out in hopes ofscoring a free meal at the expense of [...]
By Alex cherup Mouthing Off Editor It was a tit for a tat last month for a Texas woman named Mandi Hamlin. The tat: Ms. Hamlin was allowed to board an airplane heading to Dallas, Texas. The tit: Mandi's nipple ring was removed with the help of airport security and a toolbox. Yes, in its [...]
By TODD M. BUTKOVICH Guest Columnist If you support a candidate in the ongoing presidential election, do one simple thing: vote for them. That's it, just vote. Don't campaign. Don't promote them to others. Don't even say their name. Just shut up and vote. Don't just do it for me, do it for your candidate. [...]
By JESSE DUNSMORE Senior Reporter The American cowboy is a very real figure, but is typically only seen through the mists of myth. Clint Eastwood and John Wayne, the legendary leather-faced gunslingers, romanticized the lives of real-life cattle-driving mercenaries. And in turn, the Duke and Clint gave way to another breed of cowboy, more accustomed [...]
By Alex cherup Mouthing Off Editor A rock prophet once said, "To live outside the law you must be honest." Now, illegality is not so glamorous. To live outside the law, we must see your boxers. Yes, the saggy pants law. Lawmakers in Florida are hoping to catch the population with their pants down, so [...]
By TODD M. BUTKOVICH Guest Columnist I have a special announcement, and it pains me to make it. I, Todd M. Butkovich, have been caught engaging with prostitutes. Over the past 15 years I have proudly served as a columnist for The Oakland Post, and in that time, I have written many important, earth-shattering articles. [...]
By KELLY KOZLOWSKI Editor in Chief Now I know it's taboo to challenge The Queen, but things have gotten ridiculous. Allow me to explain. It was a late night in February. I was surfing my TiVo and settled on a recent episode of Oprah. The topic? Shlumpadinkas. Do you know what a ‘shlumpadinka' is? I [...]
