Oakland University's independent student newspaper.

The Oakland Post

Sigh of relief

Contributed by Alexander Stigleman

October 22

Filed under Satire

There is little worse than walking into the restroom and the only stall open is the middle one.  You set yourself up, but the feet of your fellow males keep stretching into your stall.  They grunt and groan from a different fo...

It’s the hard knock life for this 21st century boy

By Brian Figurski

October 22

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I’m a pretty liberal guy here, you guys. I think, in 2013, we’re a little beyond categorizing gender roles by topics.That being said, it’s been a very hard month for this non-traditional man.I’ve been meeting a plethora o...

Vending out miseries

By Scott Wolchek

October 8

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I will be sitting in my office, crafting a witty article and I’ll hear the loud and rhythmic clunk-clunk-clunk of somebody trying to get their food or beverage out of the machines.I just heard one as I wrote that down. That ...

Don’t get it twisted: What does a guy have to do to get arrested for buffoonery around here?

By Brian Johnston

September 19

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Last Monday I spent two hours outside of the Oakland Center making balloon animals for any students willing to take them. Meanwhile, Editor-in-Chief Scott Wolchek sat in a carnival contraption, where anyone who hit a target cou...

Don’t get it twisted

By Brian Johnston

September 17

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Last Monday I spent two hours outside of the Oakland Center making balloon animals for any students willing to take them. Meanwhile, Editor-in-Chief Scott Wolchek sat in a carnival contraption, where anyone who hit a target could see him ...

My ride on the nostalgia train

By Chris Peralta

September 17

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Ah yes, the college freshman — a unique creature. Innocent in nature, the college freshman actually buys textbooks from the bookstore and tries to find a parking spot in front of the OC. Oh, if they only knew what lies ahead....

Dreaming is believing

By Scott Wolchek

September 11

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I’ve always heard you can become a more creative person by writing down your dreams. I mean, Stephanie Meyer, author of the Twilight series, based the entire franchise off a dream she had. Last year, I figured I’d give it...

Birthday premiums? Let them eat cake!

By Brian Figurski

September 10

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I’m slightly offended. Everyone was wishing me a happy birthday a few days ago, but nobody cares today that I’m any older.I’ve said it before and it hasn’t seemed to frost on anyone, so I’ll say it again: Birthdays are a fairy...

People explode and then there’s Miley

By Brian Figurski

September 3

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Are people really still talking about this Miley Cyrus fiasco? We need to get some perspective, America, on things that are actuallty pertinent.Don’t worry, I’m not ruling myself out of this. The only news I regularly recie...

Health enthusiasts’ relentless assault

August 6

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

It’s the season again where everyone decides to shed a few pounds and share their journey on the Internet. I applaud the efforts of those who work so hard. However, some of these fitness freaks have really started to get und...

The lost art of talking to people

August 5

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I’m losing all my friends, guys.It’s possible that my awkward personality has done me in, but I’d like to blame technology.I started a Facebook page all those eons ago with friends up the wazoo. Over time, real communic...

Oakland University's independent student newspaper.