Oakland University's independent student newspaper.

Birthday premiums? Let them eat cake!

By Brian Figurski

September 10, 2013

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I’m slightly offended. Everyone was wishing me a happy birthday a few days ago, but nobody cares today that I’m any older.I’ve said it before and it hasn’t seemed to frost on anyone, so I’ll say it again: Birthdays are a fairy... Read more »

People explode and then there’s Miley

By Brian Figurski

September 3, 2013

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Are people really still talking about this Miley Cyrus fiasco? We need to get some perspective, America, on things that are actuallty pertinent.Don’t worry, I’m not ruling myself out of this. The only news I regularly recie... Read more »

Health enthusiasts’ relentless assault

August 6, 2013

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

It’s the season again where everyone decides to shed a few pounds and share their journey on the Internet. I applaud the efforts of those who work so hard. However, some of these fitness freaks have really started to get und... Read more »

The lost art of talking to people

August 5, 2013

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I’m losing all my friends, guys.It’s possible that my awkward personality has done me in, but I’d like to blame technology.I started a Facebook page all those eons ago with friends up the wazoo. Over time, real communic... Read more »

Smoke and mirrors

August 5, 2013

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Start sucking down those carcinogens, kids. Starting this fall, Oakland University is converting to a full-fledged non-smoking campus.Policy 475 expands upon the current 50-foot rule to encompass the entirety of the grounds, in an... Read more »

Oakland University's independent student newspaper.