Oakland University's independent student newspaper.

Mouthing off: Thanksgiving is the new black

By Brian Figurski

November 26, 2013

Filed under Satire

Thanksgiving will always hold a special place in my heart. November’s fourth Thursday always brings back golden memories of the Lions being utterly decimated, my first taste of whiskey via my sneaky uncle and Grandma’s to-die-fo... Read more »

Sigh of relief

Contributed by Alexander Stigleman

October 22, 2013

Filed under Satire

There is little worse than walking into the restroom and the only stall open is the middle one.  You set yourself up, but the feet of your fellow males keep stretching into your stall.  They grunt and groan from a different fo... Read more »

It’s the hard knock life for this 21st century boy

By Brian Figurski

October 22, 2013

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I’m a pretty liberal guy here, you guys. I think, in 2013, we’re a little beyond categorizing gender roles by topics.That being said, it’s been a very hard month for this non-traditional man.I’ve been meeting a plethora o... Read more »

Vending out miseries

By Scott Wolchek

October 8, 2013

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I will be sitting in my office, crafting a witty article and I’ll hear the loud and rhythmic clunk-clunk-clunk of somebody trying to get their food or beverage out of the machines.I just heard one as I wrote that down. That ... Read more »

Don’t get it twisted: What does a guy have to do to get arrested for buffoonery around here?

By Brian Johnston

September 19, 2013

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Last Monday I spent two hours outside of the Oakland Center making balloon animals for any students willing to take them. Meanwhile, Editor-in-Chief Scott Wolchek sat in a carnival contraption, where anyone who hit a target cou... Read more »

Don’t get it twisted

By Brian Johnston

September 17, 2013

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Last Monday I spent two hours outside of the Oakland Center making balloon animals for any students willing to take them. Meanwhile, Editor-in-Chief Scott Wolchek sat in a carnival contraption, where anyone who hit a target could see him ... Read more »

My ride on the nostalgia train

By Chris Peralta

September 17, 2013

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Ah yes, the college freshman — a unique creature. Innocent in nature, the college freshman actually buys textbooks from the bookstore and tries to find a parking spot in front of the OC. Oh, if they only knew what lies ahead.... Read more »

Dreaming is believing

By Scott Wolchek

September 11, 2013

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I’ve always heard you can become a more creative person by writing down your dreams. I mean, Stephanie Meyer, author of the Twilight series, based the entire franchise off a dream she had. Last year, I figured I’d give it... Read more »

Oakland University's independent student newspaper.