Oakland University's independent student newspaper.

Mouthing Off: Not your momma’s breakfast burrito

By Brian Figurski

March 25, 2014

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Usually I try not to get lit in the morning. I find that cracking open a bottle is like opening a can of Pringles – once you pop, you literally cannot stop until you pass out in a fireball of vomit. Or whatever the slogan i... Read more »

TOP 10 reply-allmailgeddon 2014

By Scott Wolchek

March 12, 2014

Filed under Satire

10. Alivia Gappy - I think this is the most interesting thing that’s happened to OU all year.9. Alexia Atkins - can we just continue this? It’s like having real friends8. Anthony Weed - So did anyone actually take poor jas... Read more »

Curse of the Oakland Center circle: proven

By Scott Wolchek

February 4, 2014

Filed under Satire

It’s circular, enchanted with dark magic− and most of us have stepped on it. The circle in front of the Oakland Center has long been rumored to be imbued with evil forces, and now it’s been verified.“I was a 4.0 studen... Read more »

Mouthing off: Of mice and college men

By Scott Wolchek

January 28, 2014

Filed under Satire

There’s a mouse in my house, more cunning than the devil himself.Not only does he constantly outwit my roommates and I, but he is adding much unwanted destruction to our apartment. He tears holes in backpacks, rips the carpet with h... Read more »

Internet connection part II: Falling out of love

By Brian Figurski

January 15, 2014

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

About a year ago, I browsed a photo album and went on a spirit journey through in the Internet to find a long forgotten friend of mine, Cameron (sic). I even wrote a sadistic stalk-inspiring article about it.Damn you all for n... Read more »

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