Oakland University's independent student newspaper.

The Oakland Post

Movies killed the movie star

Josh Soltman

March 17

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

If you’re a “Star Wars” fan like me, you should be severely titillated at the thought of a reboot in the series. At first, I was so excited I couldn’t keep food down. I’d been waiting ever since I was a kid for more. ...

Senioritis: The deadliest disease

Josh Soltman

March 10

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I am a self-centered buffoon (that one’s for you Kaylee). This is not a new concept for me but as I near the climax of my college career — graduation — I’m finding that my attention is getting more and more focused on my...

No virtues in Valentine’s Day

Josh Soltman

February 10

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Love doesn’t exist. OK, that’s not fair. It does exist, but it’s stupid and dumb and I hate it. This reason alone is why having a “holiday” based solely off of this faux idea of love is incredibly ridiculous.  Of ...

Snow emergency, snow money

By Kaylee Kean

February 3

Filed under Satire

Students spend hundreds, wait hours to avoid moving cars for snow emergency policyIt started with a Yik Yak.“Screw this stupid snow emergency policy. I don’t want to go out into the snow. Someone should start a valet service....

Great balls of fire

Josh Soltman

January 27

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

If you happened to look up into the sky at any time on Monday, you probably didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Since it’s 2015 and the only people who own binoculars are perverts and bird watchers, you probably didn...

Procrastination hurts us all

By Kaylee Kean

December 2

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

Call me a nerd, but one of the things I’ll miss most about Oakland is the Kresge Library. It’s one of my happy places here in the Rochester area.When I’m stressed and have a lot of homework, that’s where I like to go. It’s ...

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