Oakland University's independent student newspaper.

The Oakland Post

The sizzling summer saga of Parker Timothy Simmons

By Parker Simmons

May 8, 2015

Filed under Satire

Hello Oakland Post reader, my name is Parker Timothy Simmons, your average elementary education student by day, and by night, the self-proclaimed man of JUSTICE! Also your favorite paper-man-gone-distribution-director.Since it’s summ...

Growing up is hard to do

Josh Soltman

April 14, 2015

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

It’s a weird feeling, knowing that something is coming to an end. In this case, the thing that is ending is my life.It’s not ending in the traditional sense — it’s not like I’m dying or getting married or something ...

Grizzly Climbers gain altitude to gain respect

By Sean Gardner

April 1, 2015

Filed under Satire

Three students were found climbing the outside of the Elliot Tower, according to multiple reports, April 1.In what looked like a scene from a movie, the students found themselves scaling the 151 foot tower — harness free.“Not e...

Spotted: Former president seen on campus

By Kaylee Kean

April 1, 2015

Filed under Satire

It was a dark, cold morning — roughly 2 a.m., to be specific. Senior Devon Mahieu was taking a jog around campus as part of her daily morning routine.She always starts from her apartment and makes her way to the woods on the...

Looking for respect: the Grizzly Climbers story

By Sean Gardner

March 31, 2015

Filed under Satire

Three students were found climbing the outside of the Elliot Tower, according to multiple reports, April 1.In what looked like a scene from a movie, the students found themselves scaling the 151 foot tower – harness free.“Not...

Play it safe, or pay the bills?

By Cheyanne Kramer

March 29, 2015

Filed under Satire

With graduation approaching, many students are left with the burden of paying off their student loan debts. Here are 10 creative ways to pay yours off and have a bit of fun while doing so.10. Live in a van.It's not easy paying...

Movies killed the movie star

Josh Soltman

March 17, 2015

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

If you’re a “Star Wars” fan like me, you should be severely titillated at the thought of a reboot in the series. At first, I was so excited I couldn’t keep food down. I’d been waiting ever since I was a kid for more. ...

Senioritis: The deadliest disease

Josh Soltman

March 10, 2015

Filed under Satire, Satire / Mouthing Off

I am a self-centered buffoon (that one’s for you Kaylee). This is not a new concept for me but as I near the climax of my college career — graduation — I’m finding that my attention is getting more and more focused on my...

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