Oakland University's independent student newspaper.

The Oakland Post

SATIRE: Seven exotic summer destinations that are conveniently located near psych hospitals

Simon Albaugh, Social Media Editor

May 11, 2017

Filed under Satire

Are you feeling extreme emotional distress? Failing-oriented feelings of paranoia? Major-related identity dysphoria? If one or more of the above is a direct result of finals stress, then maybe you need a vacation.  So, The ...

SATIRE: Advice Column: Ask Simon to solve your nonexistent problems

Simon Albaugh, Staff Reporter

April 18, 2017

Filed under Satire

Last week, I opened my email to those who want to ask me for advice. Some people took me up on it. But like, I write satire, people. You guys should have known it was a joke. But still, people sent me their sad stories, hoping that I would...

SATIRE: Toddlers taught community engagement in an unconventional way

Simon Albaugh, Staff Reporter

April 18, 2017

Filed under Satire

Toddlers are in for a hazy situation as students who want to smoke are protesting the police crack-down on campus cigarette use in a recent stream of radical smoking. The Oakland University Police Department recently broke its reco...

SATIRE: A gentle reminder that finals are coming soon

Simon Albaugh, Staff Reporter

April 11, 2017

Filed under Satire

Think of yourself standing under a waterfall. The water is slowly rushing over you, and the energy is flowing from nature into you. It’s only when you completely let yourself become one with the water and energy that some assh...

SATIRE: An end to the fighting between The Post and WXOU

Simon Albaugh, Staff Reporter

April 4, 2017

Filed under Satire

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I’m here to send a laurel of peace to our neighbors at WXOU. I don’t care if you have better stuff than we do anymore. And, hopefully, you guys at the radio station can look forwar...

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