The event is two-pronged, catering to disc golfers and those who simply enjoy free food, mini games, music and prizes. Organizing the event is Jarret Schlaff, founder of the OU’s disc golf initiative and OU Student Congress student services director.

“If you picture the tailgate party, it will be like that but better,” Schlaff said.

Everyone attending will receive one free raffle ticket, which puts you in a drawing for prizes and is worth a free play of one of the mini games that will be set up. Additional tickets for the raffle and games will be $1 for purchase. Prizes will be drawn every half hour with a grand prize package drawn toward the end of the event.

Registration for the tournament will begin at noon and is first come first serve. Schlaff said that the course holds 75 players. Cost is $5 with proceeds going to the University of Michigan Comprehensive Cancer Center.

“We’re not expecting a ton of pros because we’re not doing cash prizes,” Schlaff said. Instead, prizes range from $50 gift cards to free bowling and free golf at OU’s Katke-Cousins course, Grizzly Oaks’ “sister” course.

The tournament will have categories for beginner, intermediate and expert players.

“The prizes are OK, good, exceptional,” Schlaff said.

Immediately following the tournament will be a putting demonstration by professional and co-designer of the course Greg Utech.

Grizzly Oaks is located off of the upper athletic fields across from the student apartments.

For information visit the Facebook event page.

I am the editor-in-chief of The Oakland Post and I have a Michigan Concealed Pistol License. It’s a blue card that shares a slot in my wallet with my voter registration.

When I turned 21, the minimum age for the license, it was my choice to take the classes and range test to carry a concealed pistol.

I grew up around firearms. So I knew not to pick up a gun and put my finger on the trigger, and to treat every gun like it’s loaded. But my CPL class taught me a lot about how to prepare for the situation you hope will never arise: firing a gun at a person.

Of course it’s frightening, but I can’t ignore the fact that I’d rather kill an assailant than be raped or murdered, and that those situations are possible.

Nobody forced me to get my license. But I am forced to accept that I have to rely on a pocket knife while I’m on campus. Going to college, however, is not a choice anymore. Even for many of those who proudly make their life’s work here, leaving is just not a choice.

Students, staff and faculty who legally carry pistols elsewhere without you ever knowing (probably a very small portion) should be able to do the same while in a class or walking Oakland University’s campus. Michigan CPL holders can currently carry their concealed pistol in most places, with a few exceptions, including college and university dorms and classrooms.

I can, however, see an argument against keeping guns out of dorms and student apartments. The walls are thin and it’s a student’s elective to live there.

While I appreciate our police department and I generally feel very safe here, that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have the right to protect myself before something happens. I’m not of the belief that it’s somebody else’s responsibility or capability to ensure my safety.

There is no doubt about the rise in senseless shootings on college campuses in this country. This is not the time to ignore the fact that these shooters could be deterred by trained citizens carrying weapons.

While not a perfect comparison to our campus community, crime statistics in Washington D.C. show that the city saw the lowest number of homicides since 1964 in the year following the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn the city’s long-standing handgun ban.

The popular assumption is that removing college dorms and classrooms from the “pistol free zones” will somehow arm all the unstable 19-year-olds in our classrooms and residence halls.

Even some of the most educated people will spew this theory over lunch and giggles, belittling the legitimacy of trying to remove college classrooms from Michigan’s list of “pistol free zones.”

Hopefully the empty holster demonstrations at OU will help break down the fog of misinformation surrounding the proposed legislation in the state Senate to remove these restrictions.

There are plenty of arguments to scare the passive consumers of information into disagreeing with the changes to the law. None of them stand up to case studies, statistics and knowledge of said law.

In a letter to The Post, a psychologist at OU’s counseling center  (read it on oaklandpostonline.com) highlighted some of these misconceptions.

“If EVERYONE is carrying guns, it will be impossible to recognize the bad guys,” he wrote.

Answer: I’m not an expert, but maybe the person brandishing or firing a weapon, making threats, or displaying unusual behavior would normally tip you off. The “bad guys” will carry weapons and a disregard for the law and other people wherever they please.

There isn’t enough ink to dedicate to the misinformation out there. Submit your thoughts and concerns, I would be happy to discuss them with you.

Against tradition, I sign this editorial because I support those demonstrating on campus this week for equal protection opportunity for OU’s armed citizens while they learn and work.

While this demonstration is to influence a state law, the underlying federal principle is the Second Amendment. Journalists, students and free members of society should support the Second as vigilantly as the First.

Signed,

Colleen J. Miller, Editor-in-Chief ’09-10

Weekend events are compiled by the Center for Student Activities.

Weekend Events: Friday-Sunday, April 2-4, 2010

Friday, April 2-Sunday, April 4

Muslin Students Association: Muslim Student Association High School Conference

Friday: 8:00 a.m.-11:30 p.m., Gold Rooms, Fireside Lounge, Banquet Rooms, Lake Superior A, Oakland Center

Saturday: 8:00 a.m.-11:30 p.m., Gold Rooms, Banquet Rooms, Oakland Center

Sunday: 8:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m., Banquet Rooms, Oakland Center

Friday, April 2

Gaming Guild: Friday Night Gaming

2:30-11:30 p.m., Room 125, Lake Michigan Room, Lake Superior B, Oakland Center

German Club: Meeting

3:00-4:00 p.m., Room 128, Oakland Center

Tau Kappa Epsilon: Meeting

4:00-6:00 p.m., Lake Huron Room, Oakland Center

Athletics Department: Men’s Baseball: OU vs. Concordia

3:00-6:00 p.m., Lower Fields

Athletics Department: Women’s Softball: OU vs. IUPUI (Doubleheader)

3:00-7:00 p.m., Lower Fields

International Allies Organization: Meeting

4:00-6:00 p.m., Oakland Room, Oakland Center

Japan Club: Meeting

4:30-6:30 p.m., Room 126-127, Oakland Center

Young Life: Meeting

5:00-6:30 p.m., Room 128, Oakland Center

Godai Ninpo Association: Meeting

5:00-7:00 p.m., Room 129-130, Oakland Center

GSA: 7th Annual Drag Show: Fairytales and Fantasy

7:00 p.m., Banquet Rooms, Oakland Center

Saturday, April 3

Alpha Kappa Psi: Meeting

8:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m., Lake Superior A, Oakland Center

Alpha Phi Omega: Meeting

8:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m., Lake Superior B, Oakland Center

Athletics Department: Women’s Softball: OU Softball vs. IUPUI

Noon-2:00 p.m., Lower Fields

Gaming Guild: Saturday Gaming

3:00-7:00 p.m., Lake Michigan Room, Lake Huron Room, Oakland Center

Sunday, April 4 – Happy Easter & Happy Passover

Greek Fraternities and Sororities: Meetings
Noon-11:00 p.m., Oakland Center

For Your Innertainment: FYI Dance Team Practice

6:00-9:00 p.m., Room 128, Oakland Center

Exhibition through Sunday, April 4

Oakland University Art Gallery: The Art of the Artist’s Book

Tuesday-Sundays, Noon-5:00p.m., Evenings during Meadow Brook Theatre performances,

Art Gallery, 208 Wilson Hall

Below is an e-mail send out by Mary Beth Snyder, VP of student affairs, regarding an effort of some members of the Oakland University community to bring awareness to the current concealed carry laws.

Michigan law as well as Oakland University policy currently prohibit concealed carry by licensed gun owners from bringing their weapons onto campus. Michigan law, however, only explicitly lists dorms and classrooms and “gun free zones.”

For previous coverage on this issue by The Oakland Post:

Students for concealed carry on campus to demonstrate

Letter to the editor: an argument for campus carry

Concealed guns could be allowed on campus

EDITORIAL: Gun bill waits quietly in legislature

E-mail:

Dear Colleagues and Students,

We have learned that next week some individuals might participate in demonstrations on our campus to express their views on gun control issues.  These activities are not unique to our university but are part of larger efforts being orchestrated regionally and across the country to gain support of various concealed weapon initiatives.

I wanted to alert you to the possibility that you might see people on campus wearing empty weapon holsters or carrying weapons on their person and in open view. The Oakland University Police Department will be monitoring this situation very closely to maintain a safe and non-threatening campus environment. If need be, officers will curtail any disruptions to the learning environment or university business.

I want to remind our students that the university’s code of conduct prohibits the possession of any weapon on campus and that a violation of this policy could result  in disciplinary measures as described in the Student Handbook.

We expect any demonstrations on campus to be peaceful and conducted in accordance with applicable laws and university policy. But if any person on campus feels threatened or endangered at any point, they are encouraged to call the OUPD at (248) 370-3331 or text to 911@oakland.edu right away.

As a university community we certainly encourage the free exchange of ideas and open dialogue on important societal issues. However, there is a right time, place and manner of doing this and we will ensure that the rights of everyone on campus are protected.

Thank you,

Mary Beth Snyder

Vice President for Student Affairs

–
Mary Beth Snyder
Vice President for Student Affairs and
Enrollment Management
144 Oakland Center, Oakland University
Rochester, MI  48309-4499
(248) 370-4200  Fax:  (248) 370-4250
mbsnyder@oakland.edu

“I always tell them to sleep face down so they don’t choke on their own vomit and die,” responded a senior journalism major in one of two surveys on alcohol use, conducted by The Oakland Post and Oakland University’s journalism department.

The question was whether they knew somebody who consumed enough drugs or alcohol to need medical attention. The senior journalism major is not alone; 43 percent of 180 students polled have been in this situation. Of those, 32.5 percent said that the threat of legal repercussions have kept them from seeking medical help, whether it was ultimately needed or not.

Out of more than 300 students questioned in another campus poll, 60 percent said they think there should be amnesty for minors who seek medical treatment for themselves or somebody else. A bill is currently sitting in the Michigan Senate that would do just that (see sidebar in bottle).

While it’s a serious issue taken up by the state legislature, the Oakland University Police Department says it’s not a prevalent one on campus. The OUPD reported that in 2008, there were 66 alcohol violations, with 57 of them taking place in the residence halls. Lt. Mel Gilroy said the numbers have come down a bit for 2009.

Gilroy said a lot of violations are from freshmen during the first month of school and a lot of the incidents occur within a small group of people in residence halls.

“We don’t even see one violation a year that requires transport to the hospital,” Gilroy said.

But that may have to do with a lack of reporting incidents, as suggested by the poll data. Underage drinkers who were polled and who live on campus were more than twice as likely to avoid seeking medical attention for fear of legal repercussions than somebody who is of age and lives on campus.

Almost 30 percent of those polled said they “drink to get drunk” one to two times a month, and over 20 percent do it one to two times per week.

A majority of those asked felt that amnesty would encourage minors to seek help when needed.

“A lot of people would rather die than get in trouble with a MIP,” said freshman Kathleen Caoagas.

Some have come close. Freshman Victor Lord said somebody he knew almost died of alcohol poisoning on two separate occasions. The student combined prescription medication and alcohol during both instances and passed out at a party.

“We didn’t call 911 because we were afraid of getting a MIP,” Lord said. “She got mouth-to-mouth and began breathing again. She went to a psychiatrist for one and a half years for self confidence issues.”

However, 40 percent of students polled said that minors should not receive amnesty no matter what the situation. For various reasons such as knowledge of the law, learning a lesson or encouraging bad behavior, these students believe violators of the law should not be let off the hook.

“You’re breaking the law,” freshman Dan Rochon said. “It’s like when there’s a murder case and people plead insanity. That’s not an excuse. You still did the crime so you got to do the time.”

Freshman pre-physical therapy major Anna Forcier points out that amnesty could let too many people off the hook. “It would be easy for everyone to say they needed (medical) help,” she said. Other students press the debate that there cannot be a black and white answer to the question of whether a minor should receive an MIP for breaking the law.

“I don’t think people who are voluntarily seeking help should get a MIP,” said senior nursing student Austin Sylver. “But to be honest, my friend had multiple MIPs before he even considered going to rehab.”

Sophomore Lauren Deporre has personally seen the effects that substance abuse can have on a family member and is therefore conflicted about a sure answer. When her relative was 18 years old, he struggled with alcoholism.

Deporre’s family member would not take the advice of his parents to enter a rehab program, but other family members were able to get through to him.

“The cousins had an intervention because my family is really tight-knit,” Deporre said. “He went to rehab. Now he has his master’s degree in business and is getting married. It’s a happy ending.”

Although she supports amnesty, Deporre suggested that some sort of medical treatment has to be enforced to fix the problem.

“It shouldn’t be a get out of jail free card,” she said.

The Graham Health Center is available to provide assistance for people with substance abuse, from their comprehensive substance abuse prevention program to individual counseling. For more information visit www.oakland.edu/GHC/ or call 248-370-2341.

To tell your state senators what you think about this issue, go to www.senate.michigan.gov/ and click “find your senator” on the left sidebar.

What do you think?

See the center spread that appeared in the March 31, 2010 issue. Click below to enlarge.

UPDATE: The ballots appear to be corrected, with a yes/no option for club sports funding and Schea/Diedrich ticket correctly listed. Vote now through Wednesday on oakland.edu/voteou.

The voting has begun for Oakland University Student Congress elections. Three tickets for vice president and president are on the ballot, 16 out of 25 possible legislators, and a referendum to give club sports direct funding.

Two glitches in the online voting system, however, lists one ticket backward (Mike Diedrich should be listed as the VP candidate and Cameron Schea as the presidential candidate).

The club sports referendum is also giving some students three completely unrelated options, when the answer should be a yes or a no. The options are from a previous ballot asking students what the university should do with excess funds.

OUSC’s advisor is currently working on resolving the club sports ballot issue with IT, but the voting is still live and current legislator Anthony Ivone says about 100 people have probably voted. Despite this, he says there’s not much they can do about the likelihood some of them were unable to vote correctly on the club sports issue.

He did say that there is a possibility that there could be a re-vote after this election has been closed.

Weekend events on campus courtesy of the Center for Student Activities

Friday, March 5

Gaming Guild: Friday Night Gaming

2:30-11:30 p.m., Room 125, Room 128, Lake Michigan Room, Bumpers Game Room,

Oakland Center

International Allies Organization: Meeting

4:00-6:00 p.m., Lake Huron Room, Oakland Center

Japan Club: Meeting

4:30-6:30 p.m., Room 126-127, Oakland Center

Young Life: Meeting

5:00-6:30 p.m., Lake Superior B Room, Oakland Center

Street Dance Association: Meeting

5:00-8:00 p.m., Heritage Room, Oakland Center

Alpha Kappa Psi: Meeting

6:30-9:00 p.m., Room 129-130, Oakland Center

Facilities Management: Campus Cleaning

6:30-9:00 p.m., Lake Superior A Room, Oakland Center

Women’s Issues Forum: Rehearsal for The Vagina Monologues

6:30-11:30 p.m., 201 Dodge Hall

Department of Music, Theatre and Dance: Nophachai Cholthitchanta: An “Historic” Evening of Clarinet Music

8:00-9:00 p.m., Varner Recital Hall, Varner Hall

Saturday, March 6

Alpha Kappa Psi: Meeting

8:30 a.m.-5:00 p.m., Lake Superior A and B Rooms, Oakland Center

Admissions: Saturday Campus Tours

10:00 a.m.-12:30 p.m., Banquet Rooms A and B, Oakland Center

Phi Alpha: Meeting

10:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m., Room 128-130, Oakland Center

Gaming Guild: Saturday Gaming/Anime

3:00-7:00 p.m., Lake Huron Room, Lake Michigan Room, Oakland Center

Residence Halls Programming: Movie Night

8:00 p.m., Vandenberg Lounge, Vandenberg Hall

Sunday, March 7

Greek Fraternities and Sororities: Meetings
2:00-11:00 p.m., Oakland Center

Exhibition through Sunday, April 4

Oakland University Art Gallery: The Art of the Artist’s Book

Tuesday-Sundays, Noon-5:00p.m., Evenings during Meadow Brook Theatre performances,

Art Gallery, 208 Wilson Hall

March 6-9 – Summit League Basketball Tournament

Monday, March 8:

Men’s Semifinal Game in Hamlin Lounge at 7p.m. EST – Fox Sports Detroit (OU campus cable channel 28).

Tuesday, March 9:

Women’s Championship Game in the Pioneer Food Court at 4p.m. EST – ESPNU (OU campus cable channel 36).

Tuesday, March 9:

Men’s Championship Game watched in Vandenberg Lounge at 9 p.m. EST – ESPN2 (OU campus cable channel 30) before Midnight Breakfast which starts at 11:00 p.m. in Vandenberg Dining Center.

Area leaders including Oakland Township Manager James Creech, Rochester Hills Mayor Bryan Barnett and Mayor of Rochester Jeff Cuthbertson presented how they’ve managed their municipalities in these tough times to over 200 guests ranging from chambers of commerce members, elected officials and representatives from organizations in the community.

New partnerships 

Cuthbertson announced two new partnerships for Rochester: one is with the OU INCubator to help small businesses and entrepreneurs. 

The program will provide loans anywhere from $5,000 and $50,000 to such entrepreneurs, early stage ventures and grown companies. These funds are expected to be available within 12-18 months.

“The investment of about $100,000 of (Downtown Development Authority) money will be contingent upon the match of $400,000 in private equity and capital fund the private sector,” Cuthbertson said. The goal is to attract new businesses, “particularly those that are coming through the Oakland University INCubator.”

A number of new businesses have managed to pop up in the region last year, including 17 in Rochester Hills carrying over 400 jobs. 

Rochester is anticipating five new restaurants to open doors downtown, thanks to bistro liquor licensing and  other ordinances friendly toward outdoor dining establishments, and a new assisted living establishment where a vacated Century 21 brokerage sits.

Rochester Hills is expecting a Meijer to open up in May right next to the Wal-Mart at M-59 and Adams.  Barnett said he and the city council have also aggressively worked to retain eight companies that were up on a lease or strongly considering leaving the city, but all eight of them, like Webasto, recommitted to Rochester Hills.

Also expected to make a significant economic impact on the region is the Oakland University William Beaumont School of Medicine, which received preliminary accreditation from the Liaison Committee on Medical Education on Feb. 1.

“We are waiting for one more accreditation which will come April 1,” said OU’s President Gary Russi. 

The medical school is on track to begin recruiting and admitting students this spring and begin course work for the charter class in the fall of 2011.

“It can help facilitate, with your help, this region becoming a center of biotechnology and biomedicine and that helps us of course move from an industrial base to a  knowledge based economy,” Russi said.

At a press conference preceding the luncheon, President and CEO of Crittenton Hospital Lynn Orfgen highlighted their partnership with the Karmanos Institute.

“We have a mutual desire to provide patients with quality care and the most recent manifestation of that commitment is the development of the Karmanos Crittenton Cancer Center,” he said, which is located at M-59 and Crooks. It opened Feb. 1 to offer innovative cancer treatments.

Eco-friendly initiatives  

Not only is Rochester Hills becoming a hub for medical growth but also for green technology and living.

Barnett spoke highly of the eco-friendly initiatives the city of Rochester Hills has taken, including the single hauler waste removal that began April 1, 2009.

The partnership with Allied Waste and the Recycle Bank rewards program has not only increased recycling in the city by 400 percent but has brought an estimated $300,000 to local businesses, all in less than 10 months.

“In 2008 we had about 18 percent of our population regularly participating in recycling. With the new program, over 90 percent of our residents now recycle regularly. In just 10 months we have diverted 5,200 tons of materials from landfills to reuse,” Barnett said.

Barnett said he plans to announce the results of the city’s “25 in 2″ plan soon, which called for a reduction in energy consumption by 25 percent over the past two years.

There is no doubt of the negative impact the market is having on the neighboring communities. Rochester and Rochester Hills have both cut city employees to make up for declining property tax rates. Oakland Township, where housing is their number one market, saw only four new home builds in 2009.

“To tell you that our region has struggled in the past few years would simply insult your intelligence.,” Barnett said. “Our region has not just struggled but we have been under economic attack.” Rochester Hills saw 320 foreclosures in 2009; there were only four in the year 2000.

“As the English proverb says, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor, and therefore we feel that it’s not the absence of challenges but rather how you choose to deal with them that will prove your worth,” Barnett said.

Events announced

Coming to downtown Rochester for the fifth year will be Michigan’s largest Earth Day Celebration held April 22-25. 

This year marks the 40th anniversary of Earth Day and the celebration will be bigger than ever.

“With all the additions this year, we’ve grown from what was an expo to really now a festival,” said Steve Rogge, one of the event’s organizers. “We will celebrate what is working in our community and showcase leadership in green business, government and nonprofit.”

The event is anticipated to bring 100,000 people to see over 200 green and wellness exhibits ranging from children’s activities home improvement and energy conservation displays to organic food and drinks. 

Representatives from green auto technology programs, the Sierra Club, local nature centers and health inititiave programs will also be there.  

Information regarding the Earth Day Celebration is available at miearthday.com

Jeff Cuthbertson also announced another event coming to Rochester on Oct. 17 as part of a partnership with the Special Olympics, the Amazing Michigan Race.

“About 200 teams of four will test their endurance,” Cuthbertson said. “They follow clues and compete in challenges throughout the Rochester area to race to the finish line.”

The idea for the race was inspired by the popular television show, The Amazing Race, and is scheduled to take place in the middle of October.

“This is a great event that will be a marquee fundraiser for Special Olympics in Michigan,” he said. “We’re very proud to have them in Rochester.”

Michigan’s largest Christmas parade will be sponsored by Genisys Credit Union this year and held in downtown Rochester on Dec. 5.

“Right now it’s estimated we have about 3,000 businesses and families and non-profit and civic organizations … participating in the Christmas Parade,” said Dennis LaPorte of the Rochester Regional Chamber of Commerce.

Genisys will also be co-sponsor of the Grand Marshal celebration on Dec. 2.

The trouble with toilet paper
By COLLEEN MILLER
Editor in Chief

Commercials have a way of making us want things we never thought we knew existed before. Take, for example, the Cheesy Gordita Crunch (emphasis on Crunch). Since the commercial first aired at the turn of the millennium, I can’t imagine what life was like before Taco Bell came out with it.

There hasn’t been such an influential commercial in my life since then. That is, until Cottonelle made me aware of a debate that could possibly be more divisive and salient than health care reform in this country. Can you guess what hundreds of people did today? Not write to their members of Congress, but voted for “over” or “under,” the great debate on how you put your toilet paper roll onto the dispenser on Cottonellerollpoll.com.

Michigan, by the way, is 19 percent under and 81 percent over. We are among the vast majority of states that prefer the over method; California and Connecticut on the rebellious side. The national numbers are something like “over” 75 percent, “under” 25 percent. On the site, Brian from Michigan said he likes over because it’s “easier to grab a handful when you’re in a hurry or on the run.” Hmm, makes total sense! Hope he at least takes adequate time to use the TP when he’s in a hurry or on the run.

I’m a radical; I voted for under. Not because that’s what I may or may not prefer, but because that’s apparently the way I tend to replenish the TP. I never gave it much thought until I laughed and cursed at the commercial because I thought it so ridiculous. Then my mate says, “I like it over. You do it random, usually it’s under. I don’t know if you realize you’re doing it; you say you don’t, but …” He actually seems to think that I do it maliciously.

I guess I have been going to the potty for so long, that the act of reaching over for the cloth was pretty intuitive. The only exception, I’ll admit, is when you’re in a public restroom and they have taken to hiding the one trillion square, one-ply sandpaper rolls in an abyss known as the toilet paper holder. Oh the insanity when it has a weak perforation and you only get one square at a time. By the way, McDonalds is the worst for this. Hey corporate, make sure they put trash cans in the stall too. Thanks! It’s also equally frustrating when folks buy the softest TP known to man. But that’s another gripe.

Since those commercials started to air, I can’t just auto-pilot through the bathroom ritual. I used to think it was sufficient to put a new roll on when it was time. I will embarrassingly admit that as a child I enjoyed refilling the TP. In fact, my parents always had a dispenser that held two rolls and I would make sure they were both pretty equal at all times. I may have to commission a study of which would be used more in a side-by-side scenario, the under or the over? Then another study for when the over is the closer or the farther of the two.

I haven’t been this obsessive compulsive since my fascination with refilling the rolls. In fact I even hate that I have to be more than half conscious to put a roll of paper on a pogo stick in the wall to eventually be used in the most undesirable fashions.

Now that I’m thinking about it, probably too often, perhaps it’s a right or left handed thing. I’m told it’s a matter of physics or something like that; when it’s over the paper is easier to yank off. Otherwise, it requires two hands. Do lefties tend to like it under because it’s not as inconvenient to use both hands (most rolls are on the left side). It’s actually probably easier to yank with the left hand when it’s under. I’m a righty, so maybe I’m just not a lazy wiper — it doesn’t bother me to lift my left forearm.

Do people with vertical TP holders argue over clockwise or counterclockwise? Who knows, screw ‘em, horizontal is better.

Public pooping problems
By KATIE WOLF
Managing Editor

I’ve made a few sacrifices for this paper, but none so extreme as the one I’m about to make. I’ve posed almost nude for a cover and for a Mouthing Off picture. I’ve actively called out the creepers while I still had to see them in class. Now I have to talk about something so private and embarrassing I’m not sure if I can continue, but here goes anyway…

I hate pooping in public. I know that sounds like a common thing, but I think I’m an extreme case. I am so uncomfortable with the idea of it that I would rather sit in agonizing pain for hours than risk using a public restroom to go “number two.” I’m also that person who won’t fart in public either. And yes, it does cause many stomachaches.

It’s not that I can’t use a public bathroom at all. I could pee all the livelong day if I needed. It’s the fact that I know my shit DOES stink and I don’t want anyone to smell it. You know how sometimes you walk into a bathroom, and it smells like something died three weeks ago and you groan, “Ugh, what’s that smell?!” I don’t want to be the person who causes that reaction. Don’t get the wrong idea; I don’t have anything dying in my bowels, and I don’t think I’m smellier than anyone else, but it ain’t roses I’m leaving behind in the porcelain.

My mom can recall the days when I would get off the bus from school and literally sprint home, up the stairs, and to my bathroom so I could finally release the pressure that had been building all day.

Come to think of it, my weird bathroom habits are not limited to only public restrooms. It took all summer of practically living with my best friend before I could “take care of business” at her house. And even now, I still wait until she’s asleep or right before I take a shower so I can run the water, removing any risk of her or her fiancé hearing me.

My boyfriend teases me all the time whenever he hears rumbling in my tummy. He knows something’s brewing and he knows I’d rather die than let him catch a whiff.

It’s only very recently that I’ve been able to poop in public, and I can credit that to The Oakland Post. Tuesday productions do not allow time for privacy when I’m here from 10 a.m. to midnight, sometimes even later. I still feel a burn of shame and fear clutches at my heart from the thought of someone walking in while I’m doing “that.” But a woman’s gotta do what a woman’s gotta do, especially when it comes to bodily functions that are out of my control.

I still need complete privacy if I’m going to have a BM in public, but hopefully with time I can ditch my neurotic behavior and flush it right down the toilet with the poop I’m not afraid to leave behind.

Time on the toleit is time in the trash

by Amanda Meade

Assistant Ads Manager