Yesterday, Oakland University passed a ban on smoking set to take effect in the fall semester of next year.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that I think smoking should or shouldn’t be allowed on campus. That is not the point I am making. What I am saying is, there are worse things.
No, not like murder or cocaine or Ke$ha’s music. I mean things that are less specific. General trends and behaviors.
To help illustrate my point, here are my Top 10 Things That Should Be Banned Before Smoking:
10. Spray painting the rocks by beer lake. If I wanted to sniff paint, I would.
9. *sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif* Never mind. Keep it.
8. Goose poop. The geese can be here, but they can only poop on the top floor of the parking structure.
7. Acoustic guitars can only be played in the upper fields.
6. ‘Closed-door study sessions’ in the library. Do that in your car. (Or mine?)
5. Abortion-related chalk messages. I just ate Chartwells. My stomach is churning already.
4. On that note, Chartwells cannot be eaten if you are not in walking (shuffling) range of a bathroom.
3. Bad drivers. If you’re driving your daddy’s Escalade, you better know your way around a manual transmission.
2. Orientation Group Leaders. Think I forgot about you?
1. Car exhaust.