Facebook exploits death
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Facebook has become mundane — undeniably part of our everyday lives. In fact, it has become so mundane that people share or discuss anything on the site without thinking twice about it.
So, when a friend or family member passes, it’s no surprise that news feeds and walls everywhere become flooded with virtual condolences.
But when it comes to Facebook and death, where is the line between thoughtful and exploitative?
A status along the lines of “R.I.P., I’ll miss you, you were such a great person” is, of course, a kind thought — but are lengthy statuses and posts on the deceased individual’s wall too much?
Death is a serious and saddening matter. Facebook takes away from its significance. In times of grief, the friends and family of the deceased individual should be spending time together, helping each other through the hardship.
Mentions of the death on Facebook and other social media forums should be tasteful and also limited. When someone writes a long paragraph about how sad they are on the deceased individual’s wall, that takes the focus away from the death and creates a spectacle of the person who wrote the post.
This was posted on the wall of a recently deceased Oakland County boy:
“I can’t listen to Silverstein or Thursday without completely breaking down or just screaming every lyric through tears. It’s like all the music that we shared will just forever hurt and leave a void. I miss you so much.”
This is a deeply personal thought — a thought that should be shared in a heartfelt conversation between friends or family — not with, potentially, hundreds of strangers.
It’s something that one would read, stare blankly at, and not even know what to think of because it’s so heavy. Death is something that radically affects peoples’ lives. Facebook doesn’t do it justice.
Aside from the general exploitation of death on Facebook, fighting and belittling of individuals can occur as well. Amanda Merrill, a freshman at Oakland Community College, can attest to this.
Recently, Merrill’s father passed away. Due to confusion over legal and financial issues, a number of her family members lashed out on Facebook through notes and statuses.
For weeks, Merrill said, there has been an endless amount of badmouthing and name-calling aimed in her direction. Merrill has reported these issues to Facebook, but the abuse continues.
“From personal experience I can say that Facebook should not be okay with the amount of exploitations of the deceased and those involved,” Merrill said. “It just makes it that much harder to make it through your day when you have horrible things like that in your face.”
In this situation, the focus has moved away from the passing of Merrill’s father to a public and unending quarrel between family members.
“I have to be worried about unnecessary things rather than my own grieving and healing process,” Merrill said.
Facebook is a place for friends and family to stay in touch, not a place for serious issues such as death to be brought up. People should be able to log in to Facebook and smile, not frown.
