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The Oakland Post

Police Files: A roundup of the funniest incidents of the year

Robert Ogg, Staff Reporter

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The Oakland Post staff has compiled three of its favorite Police Files from this academic year. While not all Police Files are funny, some give us a laugh.

This is my private RV, and I will not be harassed 

An anonymous person called the Oakland University Police Department to report a suspicious vehicle on Oct. 10, 2016. It was a 1997 RV parked in Parking Lot 11 with its lights on. When the officers knocked on the door to the RV, a male answered. The owner of the vehicle said he was a student and slammed the door when the officers asked to see his student ID. When the officers spoke with him again, he became defensive and rude. Officers informed him that he could not sleep on campus, and he slammed his door again. The officers returned to their patrol vehicle, but the man grumpily marched toward them, demanding to know their names. He returned to his RV and slammed the door once again. The officers then left without further incident.

My car eyelashes are gone! 

Following complaints of damaged property, OUPD was dispatched to the Ann V. Nicholson Apartments parking lot at 12:35 a.m. on Oct. 16, 2016. A woman returned to her car that evening and discovered that the plastic car eyelashes that had been glued to her headlights had been cut off. The value of the car eyelashes was estimated to be around $20. When the officer on the scene approached the woman’s car, he found the car eyelashes on the ground in front of the headlights. OUPD was unable to locate a suspect on camera and told the woman there was a strong chance they might not find out who cut the lashes.

Yes, you do have to listen to the police 

On Nov. 19, 2016, OUPD dispatch was informed of a possible minor in possession on campus. Two officers made their way to a residential building and knocked on a door through which they could hear loud music. The officer attempted to key into the room after receiving no response, but the door was blocked with furniture. After the officers made their way inside the room, they found beer cans, and many of the people in the room fled outside. One of the women in the room was uncooperative, stating at one point, “You guys can’t tell me what to do. My friends said that I don’t have to.” She was subsequently arrested and placed in handcuffs. At the station, she was charged with an MIP because she was in the presence of open alcohol. Her preliminary breath test revealed no intoxication.

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Oakland University's independent student newspaper.